Really, there's nothing here. An empty story. No information. Just a waste of your time.

No need for you to continue, as I've already spilled the beans. (By the way, the bucket of beans was empty. I spilled an empty bucket of beans.)

Now, you can choose to share this story, comment on this story, call my boss and complain about this story, or you can just go on about your life and forget about the 26 seconds you just wasted on this story.

Oh, you're still here? Well, thank you for continuing to read. I don't know how long I will be able to continue to type nothing. I mean, these are words, but they are empty words. No content. No guts. No real value. Sort of like tofu. It's just here.

Now, if you choose to share this story, your friends might look at you differently from now on because, I mean, really: you just shared a story that contains no information. Absolutely nothing. A waste of good time.

On the other hand, if you are trying to teach someone to read, and you don't want to confuse them with a plot, well, THIS IS THE STORY TO USE!. It's perfect for that situation!

But if you are looking to enrich your life through reading, this is definitely NOT the story for you. My apologies, in advance, for all of the time that you've spent here. I assume you'll be going away now.

Wait a minute. You are doing this on purpose. You're still reading, when you don't really want to read this. What is wrong with you? (You probably read the End User License Agreement each time you update your phone, don't you!??!)

On the other hand, maybe this is more important, or maybe more interesting, than anything else you were doing, or were supposed to be doing. If that is the case, you are welcome!

WOW! I enjoyed writing this! I never knew that my brain was so full of --- well, of nothing! Who knew?

Okay, since you hung around this long, I owe you something. Oh, how about this: a cat, hanging mice out to dry!

Helpful Kitty
Getty Images/Hulton Archive

Okay, now I guess that the story is no longer empty. I mean, how often do you get to see a cat hanging mice out to dry?ow go back to what you were doing. Unless, you were doing nothing: in that case, read this story again.

Now go back to what you were doing. Unless, you were doing nothing: in that case, read this story again.

Oh, here's a picture of me, typing this story.

Hold The Front Page
(Photo by K. Webb/Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

Does it all make sense now?


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