The Best Bike Ad On Craigslist Ever

This guy posted an ad to Craigslist because he's tired of the hipster life, and is completely denouncing his hipster status. He's trying to sell his 'fixie', which is a fixed gear bike that many would find hard to ride at first because...well, they don't have brakes. The guys wordage in the ad is fantastic! He tells why he had the bike in the first place, why he's selling it, and then goes on to warn people about fixies...Check out the best bike ad on Craigslist EVER!

From grist.org via Craigslist:

I tried so hard. I dated a girl from Portland. I criticized cheese. I applied the term artisanal to every inanimate object that went in or on my body. I burned and singed my forearms just to make it look like I was going to culinary school. I grew Carol Brady hair. I got itchy from the finest flannel and I cut off circulation from the waist down with jeans that made my ass look like an elevator button.
… And I rode a fixie.
No more. It’s all gotta go. The hair, the macrame, the texting overages, the Netflix and Hulu Plus. The record collection (have you ever tried to box up and move an effin stack of LPs?!) … and the bike.

Heed his warning non-avid bike riders! It's about to go from good to great!

The guys at the hipster store don’t tell you fixies don’t stop. So I will. Fixies don’t stop. Stop sign? Fixie don’t care. Car coming turning in front of you at a three-way stop? Fixie laugh. Want Chipotle? Nope. Fixie want protein powder/beet/purple carrot/bee pollen juice and won’t stop till he gets it. Fixie has a mind of his own.

Unfortunately, his Craigslist post was flagged and taken down so we can't link you to it. But it was fun while it lasted! The folks over at grist.org got in touch with him. Check it out to see what they asked and how he responded! They may be able to get you in touch with him if you want to buy his bike!

FIXIE DON'T CARE!